Sugar Addiction: A substitute for love
08/19/2009
I used to think that I didn’t have any addictions. I never got into cigarettes, and could drink a beer or glass of wine and always felt like I could stop when I wanted to. I had a hard time understanding some of my friends who couldn’t seem to get through the day without a drag of their cigarette, joint, or couldn’t stop watching TV at night. I had judgments about their lack of willpower.
I have realized this past year that I have actually had a sugar addiction for a good part of my life. And because overt addictions such as alcohol, cigarettes, sex, gambling, etc. get most of our attention, all of the subtler and even pro-social addictions stay under our radar.
Growing up, my mother had a sweet tooth like no other. She would eat desert sometimes before her meal, and would always take out my sister and I to an ice-cream, etc. My father did not appear to have the same sweet tooth, yet upon closer look, we would find him hoarding a tub of ice cream late at night. He would later develop adult-onset diabetes and still has not radically changed his diet.
There is more and more research out there showing the connection between emotional congestion and our food addictions. In my family, there was not a lot of physical affection between my parents and from what I can tell, there was not a lot of physical affection in how they were raised. I can see how sugar can be an easy substitute for the sweetness that is missing when we are craving a different kind of heart-food in our lives.
I developed a sweet tooth myself. For a long time, I was so unconscious of my body and what I put in it, that I didn’t notice any difference. In my late 20s, I began to eat more healthy and would notice the difference between organic foods and conventional, well-rounded diets versus not, eating quickly versus enjoying my meal, and when I would eat sugar and when I didn’t.
I started to see the connection for myself that I would use sugar if I was bored, a bit anxious, wanting to fill the space, or to fit-in because others were doing it. I then started to track what my mood was when I was craving the sugar. Could I simply be with my mood versus trying to medicate it with sugar? I also had the unpleasant side-effect of my face breaking out every time I ate sugar – so literally, it was “in my face.”
I now am more conscious of what I put in my body, but even with this insight, I still have a weakness around sugar and can have a hard time saying no when amongst friends, or walking by that ice-cream shop, etc. More and more I am getting clear on the emotional valences underneath the sugar craving. The more I am learning to tend to my anxiety, depression, shame, etc, the less I am needing the sugar and am feeling more whole in myself.
What are some of the off-the-radar addictions that you are noticing in your life that can unconsciously run your show? The need for validation? Achievement? Supporting a self-image that you have worked hard to create?
Sit down for a minute, close your eyes, and jot down some of the things that you crave or that motivate you. Usually we are motivated to want to feel something (happiness, bliss) or to not feel something (pain). How do you medicate? Write me with your discoveries – would love to hear how creative and honest with yourself you can get!
